So, Tuesday last (January 8) I discovered a LUMP on my neck. I figured it was possibly a sore muscle, or a knot, since I had been lifting pretty heavy weights in PE earlier that day.
That is, until I saw it in the mirror the next morning, visibly bulging (slightly) out of my neck. I knew, THIS IS CANCER. When I called my Dad (the knowledgeable one), and COULD NOT get ahold of him for FOUR HOURS, I cried for FOUR HOURS. This brought on a headache, and miserable sick feeling. It also did nothing to allay my panic of CANCER.
Why I am so paranoid of cancer, I'm not sure. I have always assumed I would get thyroid cancer, since my mother and aunt have both had it, and I have had thyroid troubles. I didn't realize I dreaded it with a primeval sense of impending doom. After all, death is just death.
Psychoanalysis aside, I finally did get ahold of dad, and was assured that it was probably a swollen lymph node, and nothing to die from. Drink plenty of fluids, apply hot compresses, and it should go down.
A few days ago (Monday night, I believe), it began to ache and be sore. Also, another lump was developing slightly above and towards my ear. I felt confident that it was simply another lymph node swelling up, but it did mean infection was spreading.
Therefore, I toddled into the doctor's today.
I say "toddled" as if it were easy. It involved agonizing over where to dig up $20 to cover the co-pay, figuring out how to get there, since it's too cold to bike, and finding my new insurance card. All highly stressful things I find it difficult to make myself do. (Not to mention, going to the doctor made the word "cancer" whisper disconcertingly in my ear).
I arrived BARELY on time at the doctor's. Mom & Dad's car had desperately needed gas (I'm surprised I made it to the station), and upon arrival, I discovered the button to release the gas tank cover ... lid? was BROKEN. A frantic call to Dad allowed me to manually fiddle with the lever which is IN THE TRUNK. Who knew? Of course, this shot my stress levels up, and I felt all panicky.
Anyway, upon arrival, I filled out new paperwork (new insurance card, remember?), and then was called off to the Halls of Medicine. I weighed in, and discovered I weighed a good 10lbs heavier than my last weigh-in on the wii fit. This is always unsettling and disappointing. While I am in the process of examining my beliefs about weight, and self-image, I'm not going to pretend that those numbers did not make me feel like a failure. (Although such a concept is entirely imprinted by society, and has nothing to do with what Jesus thinks of me.) Also, it was frustrating, since I've been biking and going to PE ... I certainly feel as if I have "fit credits" that should translate into LESS WEIGHT. Ah well. That is a rant for another day.
I saw the Doctor, she was quite nice. It is weird that the nurses and doctors attending me are MY AGE. ... Doctors are supposed to be old, right? I didn't think I was that old! She checked my lymph nodes, and the whole string down from my ear was inflamed and irritated. So she checked my ear. TA DAAAA! Discovery! An EAR INFECTION! I felt like a little kid! Ha ha!
Most likely, my ear bits had been irritated by exposure to the cold when I'm biking (Tuesday is the night I biked home in the FREEZING), and had therefore been weakened and prone to bacterial infection. This has drizzled down into my lymph nodes where they tried to stop it (that is their job), hence causing the swelling. I have been prescribed antibiotics (say it like this: anti-bioh-ticks, it's funnier, I promise!), and I should be fine. ^_^
Unless it really is cancer, in which case nothing will change, and I'm due back for a neck ultrasound and blood test. :3
(It's an ear infection.)
No comments:
Post a Comment