Swimsuit Shopping With Jesus

I went swimsuit shopping yesterday - the summer quest women dread. I knew this year was going to be extra difficult, as I've gained 2 sizes this year from depression. You never want to be bigger when you go swimsuit shopping, but I had no choice.

Now, when I go clothes shopping for myself, if I'm going to be by myself, I consciously invite Jesus along, because clothes shopping without a friend is a terrible experience. Of course, swimsuit shopping is even worse than normal shopping, and it is so easy to quickly fall into the trap of "My body is all wrong! Nothing fits!" Before I started, I asked Jesus to please have the perfect suit for me, that I would feel pretty in and would fit my body well. That is a tall order coming from a plus-size woman. 

Because money is tight, I went to Walmart first. There is a six item limit in the changing rooms, so I had to undress, strain and squeeze myself into suits that only partially went on, change back into my clothes, go out to the cart, return with a new load, etc. Of course, the only suit that went ON properly was the last one I tried on, and it made me feel very ugly.  I did not feel properly covered, and thought the expanding polka-dot print made me look like a gangrenous, bloated whale. Disheartened, I texted Shannon about possibly checking Lane Bryant. A store considerably out of my budget, but one that I found guarantees a good fit. She texted back that I should *not* get the whale suit (to my relief!), so I headed for the car. 

As I was leaving Walmart, I had a little thought of "Go to Fred Meyer's" pop up. I set it aside for later, doubting that Freddy's would have anything, and went to Lane Bryant.

I hadn't visited Lane Bryant's new location in Valley River Mall, so I wasn't sure where they were located. After driving around the mall, futilely looking for a hint or sign of their location, I parked in the shade behind J. C. Penny, and walked in. Of course, I immediately checked the store directory, but Lane Bryant wasn't posted (they moved in May). I peered down the store aisle before me, craning my neck, but did not see any Lane Bryant sign, so I swung off to the right, through the food court. I thought I had remembered hearing they were by the old Gottschalk's, but they weren't. 

After walking the full circuit of the mall (with a slight detour through Bath & Body Works 75% off sale), I ended up on the opposite end of the aisle I had peered down earlier. There was Lane Bryant! Hips, knees, and ankles aching, I waddled painfully toward the store, and gratefully stepped inside.

I've always loved Lane Bryant. It feels so welcoming, which is not usually the feeling I plus-sized me gets from departments stores. Sadly, THEY WERE ALL SOLD OUT OF SWIMSUITS. =_= All the cool kids go swimsuit shopping in March. I found out I could still order online, and sadly left the store, walking a few steps to reach J C Penny's, and then out to my car. 

Hot, aching and exhausted, I resolved to pop in to Fred Meyer's, just in case, but I didn't hold out much hope. I was a little alarmed walking in to Freddy's, because I could see a lot of clearance items, but NO swimsuits! Dispirited, I wandered past the bright sundresses to the back end of ladies' wear, and TA DA! I found them! Swimsuits!! Hurrah!

Not only were there several suits to choose from, there were a variety of sizes, and many sizes for ME! Every suit I brought into the fitting room (with no silly limit of six items) went on easily, without feeling like I was trying to stuff and squeeze myself into a misshapen sausage skin. I actually got to choose which suit I felt prettiest in, with the color and pattern I liked (hot pink!), instead of being forced to choose between the lesser of two evils. It was wonderful.

I really like my new suit. The hot pink color pleases me. I feel properly covered, and I know I would feel comfortable sitting or walking around after swimming without having to change. 

I should have listened to that still, small, voice the first time.