I'm Not Alone

I've been doing better this week! I've wanted to post about this sooner, but - well, you know me, "Busy, busy!" (I'm working on that.)

After I posted my blog last time, something really, really amazing happened:

People called me!

One of my friends called me immediately, and talked with me about my struggles, encouraged me with his friendship, and assured me he would be there for me - I wouldn't be alone.

After that, my favorite sister-in-law (I only have one) texted, and invited me to come along on some errands with her, and my favorite nephew (again, I only have the one), then we went out for tea. (Bubble tea! Whoo hoo!)

I was so encouraged.

It helped me a lot, and now that I'm feeling a bit better, I can have some more perspective on what was happening to me emotionally.

Last year was pretty awful. I was very isolated. I had my children, yes, but my peers had moved away, (Caleb, Peter, Lisa) were enmeshed in their own difficulties (Bry, Amy), etc.

And the thing is, we're not meant to be alone.

I know my blog alarmed some people - especially the people who haven't experienced living with those kinds of emotions. But I'm proud of it.

I'm proud that I shared what I was feeling, because there were two good consequences from it:

1) I expressed how I felt by doing something creative and constructive instead of hurting myself,
2) I found out I was not alone.

I think that is the scariest thing for me; feeling like I'm totally, completely alone with no one to help me, and having to be strong all by myself.

But having people respond to me - show me that they care about me, that was so affirming!

It was also encouraging, because it confirmed that even if I AM busy and stressed out again this year, and even if the financial situation doesn't improve, there is something different, and it's a big thing:

I am not alone.

And that gives me courage.