The Tale of Illahie Xing

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a girl was born. Her name was Illahie Xing. Illahie's parents were poor and hungry, and soon died, leaving the girl to be raised by her ailing grandmother. Her grandmother lamented the loss of her children, and Illahie grew up with compassion and gentleness.

When her grandmother also died, Illahie took it upon herself to help the people who were in need. Her fame spread, and poor and sick came from all over the country, sure of a safety and care from the woman with the beautiful heart. The king himself heard of her, and came on a black horse to visit the woman who served his people so unselfishly.

He rode from his palace towards her house. The nearer he got, the more crowded the roads became with the sick and needy, all making their way towards Illahie Xing's house. The king got off his horse, and began to walk, leading the great animal behind him. He came upon an old man on hands and knees crawling along the road towards Illahie Xing. The king lifted him up, and gently put him on the horse. He continued on his way. There was a young boy being carried by his weary mother. The king put them on the broad back of his black horse with the old man, and continued on his way. A beggar, barefoot and practically naked, was making his way along the road. The king stopped him, and gave the beggar his royal coat and boots, and continued towards Illahie Xing.

When the king arrived at the small house, barefoot and coatless, his black horse laden with the old man, the young boy and his mother, he was tired. His feet hurt and he was hungry. He sat down, and waited for the woman to appear. The house was snug against the side of the hill. Before the house, people waited, wretched and poor. Behind the house, gardens filled with vegetables and beautiful flowers stretched up the side of the mountain.

When the sun was directly overhead, and the king was so thirsty and hungry, he felt he couldn't bear it anymore, the door opened. A young woman came out, her long black hair hanging below her waist, her feet bare, her dress far simpler than the merest palace maid's, and smiling eyes that seemed to look right at the prince. He felt his heart leap, and he stood up. She was holding an enormous black pot, filled with something that smelled delicious. Behind her, others came out of the house, a young girl carrying a stack of bowls, a blind man feeling his way along, holding a pail of water, and still more poured out of the small house, following Illahie Xing as she went into the crowd, feeding and washing and caring for the people.

The king received a bowl of soup from Illahie Xing, and she washed his bare feet. Then she had the old man carried into her house, and gave the mother medicine for her young boy. She even had the king's horse led away, fed and watered. The king watched in wonder at everything she did.

Night fell, and the crowd wandered away, back to their houses and caves, content with their food and medicines. The king sat still as the rest of the people dwindled away. At last, he was the only one left before the small house, its windows twinkling with yellow candlelight.

Illahie Xing came to the prince, and smiled at him. “Excuse me, sir, do you need a place to stay?”

The king shook his head.

“Do you need help in any way?”

The king shook his head again, “You have already taken care of my needs, thank you.”

“Why are you here?”

The king stood up and bowed. He took Illahie Xing's hand and kissed it, “I came to see you, my lady. Every report I had heard about you is true. You take better care of my people than I, with my entire court behind me.”

Illahie blushed and fell to her knees. “Your highness!” she stammered, “I did not recognize you!”

The king smiled at her, “I am glad you did not. I saw you minister to every person here without priviledge or preference. You served each one, even me, with compassion and gentleness. I have never met someone like you.” The king kneeled down beside her, and looked into her eyes. “My lady, will you marry me, and help my people as my queen?”

Illahie Xing blushed. She remembered that the king had arrived on foot, with out coat or boots, leading behind him a black horse who carried three people.

“If – if I can still help as I always have.” she cautioned, “I will marry you.”

The king nodded, and stood up, drawing Illahie Xing to her feet.

The next day, it was announced throughout the kingdom that the king would marry Illahie Xing. All the people rejoiced, except for one.

In a black and hard cave, smelling of sulphur, filled with stiffling air, and huddled under the black hood of a smoking volcano, the king's half-brother lived. He had been exiled from the country for his wickedness, and his heart burned with resentment and evil. Other black-hearted men had found him in his dark cave, and the half-prince now had an army of men as wicked as himself. He heard of the king's marriage, and he spat with fury. He quickly gathered the largest and cruelest of the men around him, and made an evil plan.

Illahie Xing and the King were to be married on the side of the mountain behind her home. It seemed the entire country had arrived for the wedding. The king waited on the mountain for Illahie Xing. Just as she stepped out of her house, smiling, the evil prince swept in with his men, riding over the guests and crushing them with their huge horses. The prince grabbed Illahie Xing and threw her onto the horse behind him.

“Try and take her, brother!” he shouted at the king, and rode off, his men behind him.

Many miles later, the prince threw Illahie Xing into his cave under the volcano, and laughed at her harshly. “I have stolen my brother's happiness, and gained his kingdom in one blow!” He grabbed Illahie Xing, “You will marry me, and the people love you so much, they will make me king!”

Illahie Xing was trembling, she was so frightened, but she shook her head. “I will not marry you.” she said.

“You will marry me, or you will die!” the prince hissed at her.

She shook her head again, “Then I will die.”

The prince threw her down again, “Maybe you will feel differently after a few days of hunger!” he snapped at her, and left her in the cave.

Meanwhile, the king was looking everywhere for Illahie Xing, but no one knew where his brother's hideout was. He had been searchign for two days, when he fell asleep under a mountain with black smoke rising from the top. He was awakened with a swift kick, and discovered himself surrounded by his brother's wicked men. They quickly tied him up, and took him to their cave under the volcano.

The king was overjoywed to see Illahie Xing alive, but she was very white, and her face was pinched with hunger. He tried to speak to her, but his brother slapped him across the face.

"So, you've come here to save her." His brother laughed. "What will you give me for her, your kingdom?"

"No!" Illahie Xing shouted before the king could speak. The prince and the king turned to look at her. "You would torment and starve the people. I would rather die than have that happen."

"Would you now?" said the prince. "Would you rather see him die?" he said, suddenly hodling a sword to the king's throat.

Illahie Xing's eyes filled with tears. 

The prince laughed at her. He threw the king away from him, and walked toward Illahie Xing slowly. "Here's what I'll do, my dear. I'll give you a choice. You can marry me, and I'll spare my half-brother - for a time - or you can climb this stinking mountain, and throw yourself into its heart of fire!"

Illahie Xing trembled with fear. "The fire." she said quietly.

The prince stared at her in shock. Then he cut the ropes from her hands and shoved her up the mountain. "Then go." He grabbed the king, "You can watch before you follow her."

Illahie Xing climbed the mountain. It was hot, and the sharp rocks cut her hands and feet. The air stank, and she felt dizzy. Carefully, putting one foot in front of the other, she climbed. Her dress had been ripped away in shreds, and her skin was exposed to the burning air. It tingled and stung. She reached the lip of the mountain, and stood, looking down into the glowing heart of the volcano. She turned, and shouted down the mountain to the prince, "I will not allow you to use me for your evil purposes! I choose my death freely." and stepped backwards into the volcano.

The prince laughed with triumph as the king slumped to his knees and wept. 

Illahie Xing fell. She breathed in the mountain's fire and it warmed her. She felt strong - stronger than she had ever felt. As she burned away, she felt her heart surge with courage. It pushed away the chill of death reaching for her, and burned even fiercer than the mountain's fire. 

The prince turned to the king, and kicked him. "You're next brother." he sneered. "So weak - to weep over a woman! Get up and follow her, if you're man enough." A sudden rumble from the mountain interupted the prince. He turned and looked up at the volcano. Smoke was billowing fiercly from the top, and it glowed with red ashes. 

"What's going on?" He shouted.

"The mountain is going to explode, sir!" one of his men yelled.

The prince dropped his brother, and ran for a horse. The king felt the ground rumbling under his feet. He was not afraid; grief over came him. The ground split beneath him, and the king relaxed, expecting to die in flames, when he felt himself lifted into the air. He opened his eyes and shouted in surprise. He was sitting on the back of a dragon. It had flown out of the crack in the earth, and he was seated securley between its wings. The dragon opened its mouth and breathed out fire. Behind them, the mountain flowed with liquid rock running like blood down its sides. 

The sharp scales of the dragon had cut the ropes binding the king, and he held on tightly to it. The dragon flew quickly after the prince's men. Their horses reared and threw their riders in a panic. The mountain's flames quickly made an end to their evil. 

Only the prince was left. "There!" shouted the king, pointing to the prince. He was climbing as quickly as he could up a small hill, trying to get to safety from the flowing molten rock. The dragon banked sharply, and landed in front of him. He screamed, and fell to his knees, begging for mercy. 

"Please, no, my lord of the mountain! I did not mean to wake you, have mercy!"

The dragon snorted, and lowered its wings. The king slid off and strode towards his brother. 

The prince saw him coming. "Eat him! Please! You are wicked, like me! Think of all we could do together!" he pleaded. Again, the dragon snorted. It lowered its head so it was looking directly into the prince's eyes.

"I would not do your will in life, neither will I do it in death." The dragon turned to the king, "My lord, what would you have me do with this wicked man?"

The king stared at the dragon, "Illahie?" he whispered. 

The dragon nodded, and a hot tear dripped down her face. "Yes, and no. What would you have me do with this man?"

The king looked at his brother gibbering and weeping on the ground. "He has lost what little power he had." He reached out and gently touched the dragon's nose. "Leave him, and come marry me."

Illahie Xing's dragon eyes filled with tears. "How can I, such as I now am?"

The king shook his head, "You are as you always were, generous, compassionate and kind. I do not love you any less in a different form. Do you still love me?"

Illahie Xing nodded yes. 

The king smiled, "Then we will live happily ever after."

Fairy Tale Party

The girls LOVED the party, as I hoped they would, and nothing caught on fire! Hurrah!

I was actually pretty chilled out about the party until right before, so that was nice. Usually I'm running around like a screaming maniac, trying to make sure everything is PERFECT. But I was either so tired I couldn't care, or was actually accepting that the party did not NEED to be perfect, I was nice and relaxed.

One of my guests, Brynna, popped up in the morning and sang me a SONG. A SONG. She sang that there was a maiden invited to a ball, and then she had a long time friend over, and THEN realized it was the night of the ball. Then she fell on her knees and sang, "Your Majesty, tell me, what should I do?"

My heart simultaneously melted and went "Squeeeeeee!"

Naturally, I told her to bring her friend. :3

A couple girls couldn't make it, my sister Carolyn one. She was (is) horribly sick. Natalie had something come up at the very last minute and couldn't make it. She felt so guilty! I kept telling her, "NO GUILT!" But I think she found it hard to believe me. (Parties are not supposed to make you feel guilty. Tcha!)

I spent the afternoon making things for the party. I had a bunch of fake flowers (I WANTED real flowers, but not at the inflated Valentine's day prices! o_O), and I tied a ribbon around each one for the girls to take home. Then I took several bottles and a couple vases, and covered them with fairy tale pages. (Not from an actual  book, obviously. I made copies.) They were candle holders, and they looked GORGEOUS. I sent the bottles home with the girls, but kept the vases.

I want to do some over with scripture next. :3

The vases were fairly easy, but the bottles, oh my, the BOTTLES. @_@ It was more than complicated, getting  flat paper wrapped around a very curvy shape. It wasn't until the last one that I figured out how best to do it, and when it was done, I realized it would have looked better pasted on from BOTTOM to top. Oops.

Shani arrived home from her dad's birthday around 5 (party started at 6!), and I zipped off to Logos to get the leftover candles from Christmas, my camera (currently doing double duty as the school camera), and print off my story.

The ladder to the attic was gone, so no candles.

My camera was nowhere to be found.

I realized I had to run to the dollar tree to get candles, so no time to print my story.

Sheesh.

I called Zach and asked him to bring over HIS camera, which he gladly did. :3

The party was really nice. Almost every girl was in costume. Alainna had drawn vines and leafy things all over her arms and face. Jo had tied her hair up in ribbons, all raggedy looking. Samantha came with fairy wings. Brynna and her friend, Calista, brought PUPPETS to tell their story with.

An excellent set up.

We ate nummy foods, and the stories were really nice.

A running theme throughout the party was, "Well, I tried to keep my story under 6 pages, but then it turned into a book, so I wrote a different one today!"

I knew these girls were good ones to have to a writing party.

Alainna read hers first, and it didn't have an ending, (it was one of the ones that turned into a book!) but the beginning was really promising. I want to know what happens! I have to get that girl doing NaNoWriMo.

Brynna and her friend told their story next, WITH props and costumes. I loved that.

I think I read mine next (I'm not very patient). The girls seemed to like it a lot. "Warm fuzzies" was the consensus.

Jordan's story was LOVELY. I liked it a lot. You can tell she wants to be an author - and that she'll be good at it!

Samantha's story made me laugh. The characters were wacky and crazy. One of them introduced himself with a different name every five seconds! (He was my favorite).

Mindy had brought a story that was a choose your own adventure story! (I want to have a party themed around THOSE next!) It was awesome! Sam, at this point, was totally wired from all the sugar, and was shouting out the MOST DANGEROUS paths to take. She was, however, the ONLY one that survived. XD (Even if she did get squished by the giant spider's death throes.)

The path I chose ended up with me permanently kidnapped by mermaids.

It was a really fun party. I only wish I hadn't been so tired! I laid down around the middle of it, and snuggled with my pillow and Mister Frog while listening to the stories.

Without further ado, here are the pictures! (Mind, it was all done by candlelight, so the pictures are either really dark, or over-exposed from the flash).

Samantha and Tabi eat some noms before the party starts properly. 

Despite our comfy, large couch, most of the girls wanted to sit on the floor! That's Desi wrapped in the awesome cloak, btw.

Mindy! Who was AWFULLY hard to convince to come. But I'm glad she did.

Brynna and her friend Calista. They were the ones who brought PUPPETS!

Jo was a raggedy fairy. And so cute!

You can't see the words, but these are the bottles and vases I covered with fairy tales.

Although the pictures don't show it, the candles lighted up the room perfectly well! We  even turned off the fish tanks, and had plenty of light to read by..

I'm Baptist. You cannot have a gathering without food. I'm pretty sure it's written in the Bible somewhere ... (I'm kidding about that last bit).

Candles! (And fishtank! Unfortunately...)

Candles are the PRETTIEST.

I think it's funny how dark the room looks in the pictures. It was really well lighted for our eyes!

With le flash. At this point, more girls had chosen the comfy couch option.

Jo, reading her lovely story about fairies and wings and redemption! (I'm a sucker for a redemption story, what can I say?)

Desi, Mindy and Tabi listening to Jo's story. The candlelight made everything warm and cozy. Why did we ever switch to electric? (Because it takes 15 minutes to light all the dumb candles, THAT'S why!)

Mindy's left shoulder, Tabi, Sam, Alainna and Calista's right shoulder. :3

CAAAAANDLES!

I told you Sam got all wired up on sugar.

She's reading her story with the ever-changing-name fairy. <3 (He was quite popular.)

I was pretty tired after the party! I just kind of curled up and mostly fell asleep. Also, girls are tidier than boys. Usually after a party with my kids there is a HUGE MESS that will take me three days to clean up! The house is tidy, and there's just a few extra cups that need washed. That's nice.

I'm really glad everyone had a good time. Brynna especially wanted to have everybody's email. (She and her friend are my neighbors, and the only non-Logosites). I told her never fear, email is here!

Today is looking pretty busy, despite my desire for a nice, quiet lie-down. Church, of course, which I'm excited for. Potluck afterwards, which I would be excited for, but like I said, TIRED. Then Kevin and I are going to make recordings for the Show Choir kids. They're still struggling with parts, (sickness, Hawaii vacation, and a mere 20-ish rehearsals. I hate the March concert.) and there's only 8 rehearsals left. They need the help. Le sigh. I had an influx of 4 new students, an increase of 150% of choir size, and I didn't understand how that would attribute to party learning. Ah well. They're gonna be adorable. And they're dancing. So it will all work out in the end.

I also have to figure out my rides for tomorrow, not to mention the rest of the time I'm subbing for Mr. Fox. I know that I just can NOT bike in before 9 four days a week. So, I'm trying to figure out rides to the places I need to go on my long days, Monday and Thursday (13 hours and 11 hours, respectively.) Then I think I can manage the gumption for Tuesday and Friday.

I finished a video game today! I'm disappointed in how short it was (it was a 3ds download for $5, I still think it should have had more content), but it was ADORABLE. Done by Studio Pixel, which did Cave Story (an exceptional game, 2-d side scrolling with pixel graphics, but still gorgeous and the story is amazing, gameplay intuitive, options and multiple endings. Great game. Play it.). Anyway, it's called "Ikachan" and is really cute. I wanted it to be longer. Heh.

I will try to take the afternoon off, and just collapse in a heap. Maybe Shani will help me with that. I'm a little nervous, because I didn't have a Sabbath this week, and I'm not having one until Saturday at the earliest next week. I will be certain to take off the hours I do have off, but ...

Well, I'm pretty nervous. I would take off 2nd job Wednesday, but I'm taking Thursday off for a wedding, and I *really* need the money. :-/

Maybe Shani can help me figure out where to rest. She's good at that.

Okay, off to church! I'll post my fairy tale in a different post, so it's not so Wall of Text-y.

Things I Do

I do the Current. It looks like this:

February Current

Cool, huh?

I also drew this:

It's the first page of about a 10 page comic I have in my head. I hope I can finish it soon. I need some emotional space to draw. 0_0 I feel soooo drained at the ends of my days. I hate it.

Anyway. I'm off to do things and stuff.

You Are Not A Winner. Please Try Again.

As Shani so eloquently put it when I was at a loss of words for how to describe this week ... Not a winner. Indeed.

It's not that anything particularly catastrophic has happened, but it's been like floating in a dinghy with a very persistent leak. You're not going under, but your feet are wet and you better not stop bailing.

Tuesday I felt like my bucket was replaced with one of those small, paper Dixie cups.

As stated, there's not anything particularly going WRONG, unless you count my Grandma dying. Which, although it sounds callous, I really don't. Shani and I went to visit her in August, and I knew then that The Time Had Come, My Friends, to Go to Better Things.

It is really hard on me for the sake of my Mom. She's taking it hard. Dad too, and I know Mum's sisters are having a hard time with it. I mean, their MOMMY is dying. Timely, yes, being removed from pain, yes. But it's the end of a long, hard struggle downhill for several years, and not a pleasant end. So I am sad for them, and Mom's stress is stressing me. : - /

Not to mention Caleb, whom I love dearly. We had a talk last night, and so now I feel fine and good, but gosh. Throw a wrench in my relationship with either of my two best friends, and I feel like Atlas. Shani and I rarely have significant problems, but Caleb and me ... Well, we're like two gears with bits broken off (as all people are), and are bits are broken off in the wrong places. Things tend to grind. In addition to the communication difficulties added by simply being male and female, our styles are RADICALLY opposite, and the inherited communication habits/fears/etc. from our families make it worse.

I am no longer afraid to get married, because it couldn't be worse than trying to talk to Caleb.

And we're still friends.

Good friends.

If WE can manage to still love each other in the middle of our constant communication kerfuffles, THERE IS NO BIGGER DRAGON.

I do really appreciate that he loves me. Even when I feel pathetic and stupid and backwards and wrong.

Yeaaaaaaaah, he's pretty awesome, ladies. But I'll warn you, the application process is very stringent. You'll have to be just as awesome as he is.

Anyway, life things. My sister in law texted me, "What's going on with you?" When I responded, "Stuff," she worried that I was being vague.

I was summarizing.

In addition to my three jobs, I'm taking on subbing for Mr. Fox (OHMIGOSH, SO NERVOUS), as well as hosting a party on Saturday for which I have not much time to prepare, worry about my mom and Caleb, a wedding next week (!!!), exhaustion, a random rash that HURTS AND ITCHES (it's finally fading), I feel completely drained (not sure why), and just ... YEAH.

Things aren't great at Logos either. There are a few students who are making life miserable for us, Mr. Fox being down and out is a strain on our already-stretched staff, chapel worship is breaking my heart, and I am just not UP to biking ANYWHERE lately, and having people pick me up all the time makes me feel *sooooo* guilty, not to mention making me another strain on those precariously skinny resources.

I guess it's time to get out of the dinghy and walk on water.

:3

I bet you were wondering how I would work that back in, weren't you?

I love Jesus. I really, really do. I think He's the bees knees, the cat's meow and any other animal part you want to offer. But it's awfully hard to walk by faith sometimes. There have been things that have encouraged me this week though.

Carolyn quoted Mr. T, "Without testing, you have no testimony."

God is covering our finances, despite my careful recording that THEY WILL NOT WORK OUT EVER. (Why I gave up budgeting. Sorry, Dave Ramsey.)

I am reading a book called "Decision Making and the Will fo God" by Garry Friesen with J. Robin Maxson (<- there it is, Amy and Bry!). It has been such an encouragement to me.

I am learning (slowly, ever so slowly) that it's not about how I'm feeling at the time that determines Jesus' presence (Thank God!), but accepting that despite my temporary feelings, Jesus is always there.

I'm learning to go to Him with how frustrated I am that He's not doing stuff the way I want Him to. That He's not magically changing peoples minds as they need it.

I use the term "magically" deliberately. There was a moment, several months ago, where I was so frustrated about a situation, and just praying and praying about it. I told God, "I just don't know what to pray to make this happen!" I immediately received the impression of, "I don't work like that."

The moment God would stoop to letting Himself be controlled by a certain prayer, or series of emotions, or level of sincerity, the moment He would deliberately choose to overrule our free will to choose Him or deny Him, is when He becomes like the Devil.

Satin is the one who manipulates. God is the one who gives us freedom.

With freedom, of course, comes the freedom to choose consequences.

Incantations, prayers, forumlas, there is no way to "move God."

He's not a tame lion.

But He's good. So very, very good.

I found this the other day on the internet, the original poem of "Come Ye Sinners"

Come ye sinners, poor and wretched,
weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity joined with power;
He is able,
He is willing, doubt no more.

Come, ye needy, come and welcome;
God's free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh;
Without money,
Come to Jesus Christ and buy.

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden,
Bruised and broken by the fall,
If you tarry till you're better,
You will never come at all.
Not the righteous,
Sinners Jesus came to call.

View Him groveling in the garden,
Lo your Maker prostrate lies,
On the bloody tree behold Him,
Hear Him cry before He dies,
"It is finished!"
Sinners will this not suffice?

Lo, the incarnate God ascended
Pleads the merit of His blood.
Venture on Him - venture wholly;
Let no other trust intrude;
None but Jesus
Can do helpless sinners good.

(found here)

I know something I don't understand. I know that Jesus is the answer. To every question, every problem, every need I will ever experience. If I die of starvation, I will still know that He is my provider. I don't understand this. But I know it.

Get out of the dinghy, and walk.

Zee New Horse!

Well, I was so tired this morning, I knew there was no way I could manage PE. So here I am at home, uploading horse pictures!

I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.

In any case, The New Horse, Trish!

Carolyn and Alainna are QUITE enamored with her. Girls and horses, what can I say?

She's quite a pretty horse. Carolyn is excited because she's the same colors as her cat, Dandy.
You can tell from this picture Trish is still pretty skinny.

The girls are REALLY excited.

ESPECIALLY Carolyn. (As you can see!)

"Hello?" Trish has never been in a pasture before. She likes it.

I love my sisters. The most adorable. Yes.

Carolyn told me she woke up this morning and asked herself, "Was it all a dream?" But there was Trish, waiting for her  down in the pasture.

Carolyn shared she was glad to FINALLY be the one who "knows something," rather than being the sibling who is always being TAUGHT. Must be tough to be the youngest.

"And here's the water, Trishie."

I love the suppressed glee in Carolyn's face. :3

Carolyn kept complaining at Alainna to "Stop being so beautiful! Augh!"  Heh.

Of course, Logosites showed up to help brush the horsie. (Who rolled in poop after galloping through the pasture.)

Zach, NATURALLY, was there. Heh. I think Camina thinks he's Peter. 

I love this picture. It's a bad picture, really, no faces, poor lighting, too much background ... but I loved my sisters leading the horse around the pasture, and this captures my feelings zigackly.

I know Peter misses his kitty, so I took some pictures of her WITH ANOTHER MAN!

JUST FOR YOU, PYOT! <3

Apparently, there is now a class at Logos called "Agricultural Science," and you get a half credit if you show up and help do all the horsie things.

You can see how winter-furry Trish is here. She's 20 years old (ish), but because she's all fuzzy for winter she kinda looks like a colt. Heh.

Carolyn is still in seventh heaven. She said it was hard getting up early this morning. ("I hate my alarm! Augh!") But she also said that when she went down to the pasture, it was just sunrise. Trish saw her coming, and neighed. As she trotted down to get her food, she was silhouetted against the morning light, and the sight took Carolyn's breath away.

I think that's worth it.

Shani Makes Me Stay Up

Apparently, to be moral support while she does homework. I am not entirely sure what support a roommate is who simply sitting silently on the couch, gaming or browsing Pinterest (or currently, BLOGGING) IS, but I am glad to help her out.

Mostly I am glad that I am not helping her with speech class homework anymore. That was last semester. It was awful. Shannon had to write OUTLINES. She is not an outline person. So I would be morally supporting her, and having to listen to her struggle and complain about how she could NOT write outlines, and have me read and RE-read them for HOURS. (Well, it seemed like hours.) She would usually end up so frustrated I would kick her out of the computer chair, and have her pace around, trying to explain what she would be saying in her speech in spurts and starts, and I would translate it into outline form. I am good at outlines. I am not sure if it is because I have the kind of brain that offers that kind of organization, or that my mother drilled them into me while I was in English class.

Probably both.

I felt special in church today! The sermon was for MEEEEE! And more than the usual sense of "speaking to me." Since we finished 1 Peter (after an in depth nine-month study!), Pastor Bill asked for suggestions. Today's sermon was from MY question. I feel special. It will need more than one sermon to complete too! I FEEL SMART. Or something.

It was called "When To Butt In." I HAVE THE BEST CHURCH, GUYS. I did not phrase my question *quite* like that, but it was a rather accurate summary. My favorite lines I took away from the sermon were, "You can butt in with prayer whenever with no risk, unless you tell on yourself." and, "Harshness is not a fruit of the spirit. Gentleness is. That's how God deals with us, isn't it?"

If you're curious about the sermon, you can watch it on our churches website, phillbc.org. It's not up yet, but when you consider that our "tech crew" is just Kevin and Micah, I think it's pretty awesome what they manage. (Being a small congregation, we milk member's talents pretty thoroughly.:3 )

Today, a childhood dream of mine came true! My family got a horse! Sadly, I am now moved out of the house. Gladly, I can still enjoy the benefits of HORSE without the disadvantage of mucking out. That's Carolyn's job. :3

Trisha (the horse) is a rescue horse. The barn Carolyn takes lessons at rescued her from where she was being badly neglected. Trisha was completely emaciated, but has recovered well. She is still quite thin - her hip bones stick out - but she is much better. She should be rideable in about a month, and Carrie gets a horse. I am really glad for her. (And me. And that I don't have to do the mucking out.)

If we're lucky, I will be able to get the pictures I took today onto a computer tomorrow. Then I may even manage to email them to myself. And then I could possibly POST THEM some time this week!

If we're lucky.

My weeks are quite busy currently. I am now working four evenings a week, leaving only Friday free. Although I AM quite glad that my second jobs are easy, it is wearing on me to figure out how to get over there, or bike there, and getting home after 8pm is really hard on this morning person.

I will also be taking over the English class for the Huckleberry Finn unit at Logos. You see, Mr. Fox had a minor stroke. He is getting better, and I believe expected to make a full recovery, but a stroke (however minor) is not something you just roll off and bounce back to work the next day. Or week.

Fortunately, I took the Huck Finn unit from Mr. Fox myself in high school, so I believe I can run it competently.

Not nearly as well as Mr. Fox though, sadly.

Ayay, I can see that is time to wrap up this post, as the iPad is cutting me off. It does that. After so many words, it simply refuses to scroll down and show me what I am writing. I am not entirely sure WHY, but there it is.

Which means, for you smarties, I have not seen the entire last paragraph I have written. I am sure it is RIFE with typos. Enjoy!

I Left Facebook!

Or at least, I have, temporarily. I would like it to be permanent. And since I just announced over there THAT I meandered away, I thought now would be a good time to share WHY I meandered.

Somebody posted a link to "Three Reasons Why You Should Quit Facebook," and while, ironically, I cannot recall what they WERE, it certainly caused me to think, "Why do I HAVE  a facebook?" and the answer was, "Because everyone else does."

Needless to say, this answer did not please me. I continued to poke and prod at the thought, and realized that the things I wanted facebook to DO, it didn't, and the people I really, REALLY loved never used it anyway (with a couple note-able exceptions), and ... It depressed and upset me!

So I decided to try a radical experiment! I started texting my friends in a big GROUP the things I would normally tweet about. Because THEY were the ones I wanted to know, and THEY were the ones I wanted to respond! A couple people politely backed out (understandably - I'm quite a prolific texter), but ... Suddenly I was getting responses from people I cared about, about the things I was doing, and it was GREAT!

The other thing I was not getting on facebook was the capability to write LONG AND LENGTHY THINGS. Which I love doing. I'm definitely more of a blogger than a facebook-updater. Hence, BLOGGING. I had forgotten how much I loved it. *swoon*

Also, I am not missing the drama. I don't think it's this way for everybody, but the "drama" on facebook REALLY bothers me. Like, deeply, deeply distresses and disturbs me in a I-Can't-Stop-Thinking-About-This way.

I love my people. I really, REALLY do. And when I see them posting things about un-wise decisions, or saying caustic and hurtful things, or when I perceive that their choices are moving them further from God, I feel physical pain in my chest. Like somebody is squeezing my heart. And Facebook is not a place where you can confront people.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Facebook encourages an environment where it is socially EXPECTED to be as divisive, argumentative and caustic as possible. I have had people I love in real life become verbally hateful over facebook. I have had people deliberately start arguments, or play devil's advocate JUST BECAUSE there.

It is not an environment that encourages kindness, thoughtfulness, respect or maturity.

Also, people have frequently taken something I've said there a little sideways, or not-quite-what-I-meant, and that frustrates me, and hurts me, because I feel like they don't know who I REALLY am. (I mean, seriously. I think I'm one of the LAST people you'd accuse of being deliberately hurtful or sarcastic, and I've been interpreted that way.)

So, that stress being gone from my life is SUCH A HUGE BLESSING.

Obviously, I'm not going to suddenly IGNORE that people I love are making unwise decisions, but sometimes seeing their posts is like being slapped in the face with it, over and over and over. So instead of allowing myself to stay where I am being so constantly attacked I can't pray wisely and calmly (I just pray "Oh God. Oh God," because I'm in such emotional turmoil), the space of no facebook allows me to be healthy myself, AND still pray for the people I love.

Not to mention, I feel a bit more in control of a blog. I don't have to worry about making my posts PC for EVERYBODY. (Something I'm always very aware of on facebook.) A lot of the people on facebook I'm friends with for business reasons, or they're my students, etc. etc. But I feel like a blog is a lot more personal. It's like your house, as opposed to facebook, which is more of a public park. I think that only people who actually WANT to know about how you're doing, etc. are going to actually bother to read a blog. Heh. (Or if they're really determined gossip-mongers and dirt-diggers. But, well, I have nothing to hide. So. *shrug*)

Anyway, the experiment went so well! I love it! So much less stress, and the people I actually LOVE AND CARE FOR are texting me (Eeee! *swoon*), and I love chatting like a mad thing on a blog. It's fun.

I do miss the baby pictures, and posts from my few close friends who DID use facebook, but it's not a big deal because we're connecting in OTHER ways. And I have suddenly found a LOT more time. I didn't even realize how much time I was just poking away on Facebook instead of other things. Like watching movies. I used to watch movies and draw. Then I watched movies and facebooked. Now I watch movies and draw again! (Or pinterest. Because it is full of shiny things.)

Now, my cousin said, "Well, set time limits!" But I SUCK at that! I know this from old. "Just five more minutes! Just five more minutes!" and FIVE HOURS LATER ... Heh heh. But it is good to know your limitations!!!!!

Anyway. It has been a bit of a week, and a bit of a day (although I got to hang out with my littlest sister! Wheee! <3), and I am going to eat some food and watch a movie. ^_^ I may or may not go to Koinaia today. I was originally PLANNING too, but my plans changed up a bit when my sister came home with me. ^_^

Ta, all! <3